


A Step Forward

by castles_and_crowns



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, F/M, Jealous Hera, Post-Star Wars: A New Dawn, Pre-Star Wars: Rebels, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 10:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12982092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castles_and_crowns/pseuds/castles_and_crowns
Summary: Hera gets jealous when she sees Kanan flirting with another woman.  This leads to some difficult talks that have been a long time coming.





	A Step Forward

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me last night and then I stayed up all night writing it. It's probably my favorite piece about Kanan and Hera I've written thus far, but unfortunately, now I feel like all my Kanera inspiration is used up. I really like writing about them though, so if you have any suggestions for them, please comment and let me know.
> 
> Also, this is Lucasfilm's world; I'm just playing in it.

Hera had landed the _Ghost_ on Lothal, the planet that served as somewhat of a home base for both she and Kanan between missions. Currently, she and Kanan were in the galley, eating a small dinner that Kanan had made. From a side window on the ship, Hera had a nice view of the sun setting outside.

 

“Want to play a game of dejarik tonight?” Hera asked Kanan, before taking another bite of the admittedly delicious meal.

 

Kanan shrugged. “I was actually thinking about going into town and getting a drink tonight.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“You want to come? I’ll treat you.”

 

Hera shook her head politely. “I think I’m going to stay in tonight and maybe go to bed early.”

 

“You sure?” Kanan asked, his mouth now full of food.

 

“Definitely. I’m pretty tired anyway,” Hera replied.

 

“Okay. Well, I owe you a game and a drink then.”

 

“I’ll hold you to that,” Hera grinned.

 

After dinner, Kanan went to his quarters, while Hera went into the cockpit to tidy it up. She always kept her ship in pristine condition, but when she had downtime, she couldn’t help but fiddle around and shine the _Ghost_ up just a little bit more.

 

As she dusted around the navicomputer with an old dry rag, Hera let her mind wander. She and Kanan had been working together for about a year now. Since he had joined, they had been able to cause double the amount of mayhem in the Empire than Hera had been able to cause alone. Though Kanan had originally signed on to just be a crewmember, over the past year he had really started to take a more active role in fighting against the Empire.

 

Another thing that had changed over their first year of working together was their relationship. During their time on Gorse and Cynda before Kanan had joined on as Hera’s crew, Kanan had been shamelessly flirtatious with her; thus, she had been quite surprised when he immediately stopped the flirting once she hired him. As they became friends though, the flirting slowly came back. Most of the time it was gentle teasing and nothing too overt. Often times, Hera played a long, mainly because it kept things interesting, especially on long trips. Nothing ever came from it though, and Hera intended for it to stay that way.  

 

It wasn’t that she didn’t find Kanan attractive; she absolutely did. And if she allowed herself to think about it long enough, she might actually admit to herself that she really, _really_ liked Kanan. But Hera was committed to destroying the Empire. She had no time for romance, particularly romances with people who worked for her.  The rebellion had to come first.

 

As she moved to wipe smudges on the front viewport, the cockpit door swished open. Hera turned around to see Kanan.

 

***

 

Hera’s eyes widened when she looked at Kanan, and he had to suppress a smirk. He knew he was a good-looking guy, and he knew he looked particularly handsome tonight in his well-fitted blue tunic and dark gray pants.

 

“I’m off. You sure you don’t want to come?”

 

Hera shook her head. “Positive. You have fun though.”

 

“Okay,” Kanan said. “Don’t wait up.”

 

Hera crossed her arms around her chest and looked at him suspiciously. “What does that mean?”

 

“It means don’t wait up,” Kanan responded, shrugging. “See you later.”

 

“Bye,” Hera said, as Kanan exited the cockpit.

 

When Kanan got to the cantina, he ordered a drink and struck up a friendly conversation with the bartender. They were in the middle of a discussion about which brand of Corellian brandy was best when Kanan felt a tap on his shoulder.

 

He turned around to see a curvaceous human woman with long bluish black hair and heavily lidded eyes smiling at him.

 

“Buy me a drink?”

 

Kanan grinned and motioned for the woman to sit down on the barstool beside him. “Sure. I’m Kanan.”

 

“I’m Alia,” the woman said. Then to the bartender, she said, “I’ll have one of whatever he’s having.”

 

“So what brings you here, Alia?” Kanan asked, leaning his arm on top of the bar.

 

“I work as a healer at the clinic here in the city. The days can be rough, so sometimes I come here to let off steam.”

 

Kanan chuckled, his eyes twinkling. “I think we have a lot in common then.”

 

“You’re a healer too?” Alia asked, touching Kanan’s arm.

 

“No. I have a rough job that sometimes necessitates alcohol to help me unwind,” Kanan said, before taking a sip of his drink.

 

“What do you do?”

 

“That’s classified,” Kanan said, smirking. He liked the idea of not being able to tell Alia what he currently did for a living. It made him seem mysterious.

 

“Well, maybe I can find a way to convince you to tell me,” Alia said, returning his smirk as she now began to rub Kanan’s arm.

 

“Maybe you can,” Kanan replied flirtatiously. He then gulped down the rest of his drink and ordered another one.

 

***

 

Hera had just received a message from her informant, Fulcrum. Fulcrum had asked Hera to take on a mission intercepting valuable cargo that was being delivered a few sectors away. They could make it there in the _Ghost_ in a few hours, but Hera would need to cut Kanan’s night short.

 

She called Kanan on his comlink, and there was no answer. A few minutes later, she attempted to contact him again. When he still didn’t answer, Hera went into his quarters to see if perhaps he’d forgotten to take his comlink with him.

 

Sure enough, Kanan’s comlink lay on the small nightstand in Kanan’s room. Annoyed, Hera picked up the comlink and pocketed it.  She then told Chopper to keep an eye on the ship, as she had decided to go into town to retrieve Kanan.

 

Unfortunately, Kanan had taken their speeder into the city, so Hera had to walk, which only increased her irritation. Once she was in town, it then took her three tries to find the right cantina.

 

When she did finally enter the right place, she spotted Kanan talking intimately with a pretty woman who was leaning up against one of the pillars holding up the building. Hera watched in disgust as Kanan whispered into the woman’s ear. The woman giggled in response and ran a hand through Kanan’s dark brown hair.

 

Infuriated by what she was seeing, Hera marched over to Kanan. The woman noticed Hera stomping toward them first, as Kanan had been whispering into the woman’s ear again. She snapped her head to look at Hera, which then caused Kanan to look over.

 

Hera was pleased to see that Kanan looked mortified.

 

“Her—Hera,” Kanan choked out. “What are you doing here?”

 

In response, Hera took Kanan’s comlink from her pocket and threw it at his feet. “I’ve been trying to reach you.”

 

Kanan guiltily looked down at the comlink. “I forgot to take it with me. I’m sorry, Hera.”

 

“Who is this?” the woman asked, looking from Kanan to Hera. “Is this your girlfriend?”

 

“No!” Her and Kanan both exclaimed.  Hera felt her face flush, and despite the low lighting, she was pretty sure she saw Kanan's face tint pink as well.

 

“Then who are you?” the woman said, clearly annoyed at the intrusion.

 

“She’s my boss,” Kanan said.

 

“Your _boss_?” Hera scoffed, as she smacked Kanan on the arm with the back of her hand.

 

“Ow!” Kanan cried, grabbing Hera’s hand. “Stop that!”

 

Hera yanked her arm away from Kanan and put her hands on her hips. “I’m taking the speeder back to the ship. We’ve got a job assignment. If you want to be a part of it, I suggest you make your way back soon.”

 

And with that, Hera marched out of the bar.

 

***

 

With a quick and likely inadequate apology to Alia, Kanan ran after Hera. By the time he got outside, however, Hera had already left and taken the speeder with her, just as she said she would.

 

Groaning, Kanan made the trek back to the _Ghost_ on foot. As he did, he thought about the interaction that had just occurred. He could easily admit that he had been wrong in forgetting to take his comlink with him. However, he also thought Hera’s angry response was disproportionate to the situation. In the year that they had worked together, Kanan had seen Hera mad—but never as mad as she had been tonight.

 

 _Could Hera be jealous?_ Kanan thought. He had been flirting pretty heavily with Alia before Hera had interrupted them. But what right did have Hera have to be jealous? Hera had made it clear from the beginning that there was to be no romance between the two. If Kanan thought for even a second that _anything_ with Hera was possible, he wouldn’t have even given Alia a second look. But even when Hera responded to Kanan’s flirtations, it was clear to him that she was just playing along; she had no intention of actually _doing_ anything. So, why then, was she so livid?

 

When he got back to the ship, he was greeted by Chopper, who beeped indignantly at him. Kanan ignored the cross droid and searched the ship for Hera. He found her in the cockpit, getting the ship ready for take off.

 

“Hera...”

 

Hera, who was leaning over the navicomputer, did not turn around when she spoke. “We’ll be ready to lift off in about five minutes.” Her voice was icy.

 

Kanan took a step toward Hera. “I’m sorry I was out of touch. That wasn’t cool of me.”

 

Kanan saw Hera freeze, but she still didn’t turn to face him. “Okay.”

 

“Hera—“

 

“I have to get the ship ready, Kanan,” Hera said, finally turning around. Kanan observed that her face looked flushed. “I can’t be distracted right now.”

 

Kanan sighed. “Okay. I’ll get out of your way. Let me know if you need any help.”

 

Hera didn’t respond. She just turned around and went back to what she was doing.

 

***

 

When Hera was sure that Kanan had finally left the cockpit, she broke down in sobs. The tears fell freely down Hera’s cheeks and onto the navicomputer, as she remained hunched over, continuing to get the ship ready for its take off. She also pressed the lock button to the cockpit door, ensuring that Kanan couldn’t come in and see her like this.

 

About ten minutes later, they were up in the sky, and about thirty minutes after that, they were in hyperspace. When she saw the comforting blue lights of the hyperspace lanes in the front viewport, Hera finally collapsed in the pilot’s seat and pressed the unlock button to the cockpit door. If Kanan wanted to grovel, now he could. She definitely didn’t want to speak to him right now, but she knew delaying the conversation might make the situation worse.

 

Due to the utter exhaustion of the past hour or so, Hera quickly began to doze off in her chair. She had almost fallen completely asleep when she heard the cockpit door open.

 

“Can I come in?” she heard Kanan tentatively ask.

 

“If you want,” she answered coldly, as she opened her eyes.

 

Kanan walked over and sat in the co-pilot’s seat. “Are we okay?”

 

Hera shrugged. “Sure.”

 

“You don’t seem too _sure_ ,” Kanan told her, turning his chair to face her.

 

Hera kept her chair facing forward. “I just don’t know if I want crewmembers working for me that I can’t reach when I need to.”

 

Kanan groaned. “I told you I was sorry about the comlink.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Hera, _c’mon_.”

 

“I said ‘okay,’ didn’t I?” Hera replied, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

 

“Yeah, you did, but you don’t seem like you forgive me,” Kanan said.

 

“Fine, I forgive you,” Hera answered. She felt like her voice might begin to waver, and she prayed that Kanan would accept her words and move on.

 

“You know,” Kanan began gently. “I’m not sure this is about the comlink.”

 

Now, Hera did turn her chair to face Kanan. Her face flushed with anger, and the threat of her voice wavering disappeared. It was now steely and callous. “If you have something you want to say, I think you should be direct and say it.”

 

“Fine,” Kanan said. “I think you might have been a little irritated with me about forgetting the comlink. But I think you’re so upset because you saw me with another girl.”

 

“You’re out of your mind, Jarrus.”

 

“Am I?” Kanan inquired. His voice was soft, and it was clear to Hera that he was trying not to start a fight.

 

“Yes, you are. I could give a loth-rat’s ass about the women you choose to fool around with in your free time. What I do care about, however, is when your philandering interferes with my work.”

 

Kanan laughed humorlessly. “ _Philandering_? Hera, I have been with _zero_ women since we’ve started working together! Tonight was the first night anything like that even came close to happening.”

 

“Well, I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

 

“See!” Kanan exclaimed, pointing at her. “That’s what I’m talking about! That right there! The contempt is so obvious in your voice.”

 

***

 

For a moment, Kanan thought Hera might slap him. After he called her out for speaking with such obvious disdain, Hera jumped out of her seat. She put her hands on her hips and leaned over Kanan.

 

“Did you talk to your other _bosses_ like this?” she said angrily, using what he had said earlier in the evening against him.

 

"No,” Kanan said, trying to remain calm. “Because my other bosses didn't get irrationally angry when they found me with a woman who wasn’t them.”

 

“How _dare_ you!” she seethed.

 

Kanan stood up now, squaring off with her. “I’m just calling it like I see it.”

 

“Well, you’re completely blind then because you’ve got it all wrong.”

 

“You know, Hera, I don’t think I do. But if you want to continue to live in denial about how you feel, that’s fine. Next time you see me flirting with a woman though, you can’t get mad at me because you have no right to be.”

 

Now Hera did go to slap him, but Kanan was quick and caught her arm before she could land the blow. Hera inhaled sharply when Kanan grabbed her arm, and she looked up at him with wide, anxious eyes.

 

“Hera—“

 

He never got to finish that sentence, however, because Hera leaned up and kissed Kanan hard on the mouth. Kanan released his hold on Hera’s arm and gently cupped her cheek with one of his hands. He grabbed Hera’s hip with his other hand and drew her close to him. For her part, Hera clutched eagerly at Kanan’s shirt and pulled him down so that she had better access to his face.

 

After a moment, Kanan realized that they had been kissing so passionately, so _desperately_ , that neither one of them was getting enough air. He pulled back ever so slightly, and Hera opened her eyes, uncertainty shining in them. Kanan smiled reassuringly before diving in to kiss her again. This time, however, he allowed himself to fall back into the co-pilot’s chair, and he took Hera with him. Hera gasped in surprise and wrapped her arms around Kanan’s neck as she adjusted herself on his lap.

 

To Kanan, it felt like they’d done this a million times before. They moved together so naturally that any thoughts of hesitation or insecurity were clearly gone. Hera was only twenty and had spent most of her life fighting, so Kanan was surprised with how adept Hera she was at this. She kissed him with the confidence she displayed in everything else she did, but also with a hunger that Kanan was surprised she possessed.

 

Kanan ran his hands down Hera’s lekku, and Hera let out a little moan. This caused him to smirk through their next kiss, and he was certain Hera must have felt his smile because she pulled back and looked at him, completely unabashed.

 

“I’ve never made out with a Twi’lek before. I didn’t know lekku were so sensitive,” he explained, his voice a throaty whisper.

 

“They are,” Hera replied, as she adjusted her position in his lap so that she was now straddling him.

 

She leaned in to kiss him again, and Kanan let her. Hera was moving fast, however, and Kanan was pretty certain that she had no intention of stopping. That might be fine for another night, but Kanan knew they still had unfinished business. After continuing to kiss her back for a few moments, Kanan broke the kiss.

 

“Hera,” Kanan called softly, as he squeezed Hera’s hips with his hands.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I think we still need to talk, don’t you?”

 

Hera removed her hands from Kanan’s neck, though she remained straddling him. “Yeah, I think we do.”

 

***

 

Kanan kissed Hera’s forehead and then helped her remove herself from his lap. Hera sat back down in her own seat and licked her lips. She could taste Kanan on them.

 

“You were right,” Hera said. “I was jealous.”

 

Kanan nodded understandingly. “I would have been jealous too, if I saw you flirting with some other guy at a bar.”

 

Hera grinned. “Really?”

 

“Yeah,” Kanan laughed. “Definitely.”

 

“I shouldn’t have reacted that way though. It wasn’t very professional of me…as your boss and all.”

 

“You’re not just my boss, Hera,” Kanan told her, taking her hand and squeezing it. “You may have started off as my boss, but you’ve become so much more than that. You might be the first true friend I’ve had in a very long time.”

 

“You might be my first true friend ever,” Hera replied, chuckling.

 

Kanan stroked Hera’s hand with his thumb. “So what does all of this mean?”

 

Hera’s face, which up until this point had been glowing with contentment, changed. Her expression grew thoughtful, almost sad. “I don’t know, Kanan.”

 

“What do you mean?” Kanan asked patiently.

 

“I mean that I _want_ you. I _want_ to be with you. I just don’t know how to consolidate this,” she motioned between them with her free hand, “And the rebellion. I saw what happened with my parents. My mom and dad fought side by side during the Clone Wars, and when she died it nearly destroyed my dad. He was never the same.  He threw himself into the Free Ryloth movement and never allowed anyone to get close to him again.”

 

“The Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments,” Kanan replied. “Having them can ruin you because you may begin to make choices favoring that attachment, rather than the greater good.”

 

Hera felt her eyes well up with tears. “That’s exactly it. Kanan, I want to be with you, but I can’t put you ahead of the rebellion. It’s been my entire life, in one form or another.”

 

“I understand,” Kanan told her. “But can I give you my opinion?”

 

“Please,” Hera replied, as a few tears spilled over.

 

“The way I see it: we can be together or we can continue the way we were before. The feelings were still there long before what just happened, right?”

 

“Right.”

 

“So regardless, the attachment—the _love_ —is still there. The difference is whether we allow ourselves to enjoy that love we share or we push it to the side and ignore it. Either way, it’s there.”

 

 _He said ‘love,’_ Hera thought to herself. The tears were now falling steadily down her face, and Kanan leaned forward to wipe them away with his thumb.

 

“Hera, you wouldn’t be the person I fell for if I thought for a second that you’d put me ahead of the rebellion. I’ve always understood that this fight is your top priority. It’s what is so endearing about you. Your love for freedom and fairness is so strong that you’re willing to do anything to ensure the galaxy can one day have those ideals.”

 

“You mean all of that?” Hera asked, not knowing what else to say.

 

“Of course.”

 

Hera nodded. “Okay. But there’s still something else.”

 

“What’s that?” Kanan questioned.

 

Now Hera squeezed Kanan’s hand. “You’re part of this rebellion now too. I know you weren’t initially; you were just here for the work and the credits—“

 

“And you,” Kanan cut in, smiling.

 

Hera blushed. “And me. That’s actually kind of the point. You weren’t initially part of this fight, but I’ve seen how you’ve changed over the past year. You care about this fight now too. Am I right?”

 

“Yes,” Kanan responded.

 

“But my concern is that because of your feelings for me, if it came to saving me or doing what’s ultimately best for the rebellion, you’d save me. I am grateful that you love and understand the fact that the rebellion takes precedence in my life. But I need it to take precedence in your life too. Like a Jedi would, I need you to make the decision that’s for the greater good, if it ever comes to that, even if that means I become a casualty. Can you do that?”

 

***

Kanan wasn’t sure that he could do that. The thought of ever having to make that decision made him want to drop to his knees. But that’s what Hera wanted—that’s what the _person he loved_ wanted. And if that’s what she wanted, that’s what he’d promise her. He’d just pray that he’d never have to make that decision, and Force-forbid if he did, he’d have the strength to do what Hera asked him to do.

 

“Yes, I can,” Kanan answered after a long pause. “Because I love you, and I know that’s what you want.”

 

“Thank you, Kanan,” Hera said, moving in to hug him.

 

Kanan pulled her onto his lap again, but this time they did not kiss. They held each other, and Hera ran her fingers lazily through Kanan’s hand.

 

After a few minutes of reflective silence, Hera whispered into Kanan’s ear, “I love you too, by the way.”

 

“Of course you do,” he said, smirking at her. “Why else would you have been so upset earlier?”

 

“Oh, hush,” Hera replied, as she rested her head against Kanan’s.

 

Kanan and Hera remained in each other’s arms, just resting, until it was time to drop out of hyperspace. They then got to work, preparing for their next mission and for the next chapter of their lives.


End file.
